The Vagina Diaries...

Ok here's the latest info on the continuing saga of my uterus...It seems that redoing my surgery would not be beneficial. (Which is good because I'm not sure my uturein lining could stand to be barbequed AGAiN!) So the next attempt is to do an IUD insert which will hopefully lead to lesser periods or lesser length or something lesser! Short of a hyesterectomy there's not much else to do. So it might be that this is ANOTHER thorn in my flesh until menopause like 100 years from now.

Now here's the deal...we are trying to get all of this in before the end of the year so that I get the full advantage of my insurance. So who knows if any of this will work...

but, here we go again!

Loser!

Ok...I know I haven't blogged in awhile. I swear, it is all bouncing around in my head...one day I will get back to spewing my thoughts all over the web...but for tonight can I just say...

I felt like SUCH a LOSER driving high school kids around in my MINI VAN! The worlds are colliding and I just felt like such a moron!

I just had to get that off my chest...

Pre-medication

So this weekend I went off by myself to this place called The Oaks about an hour from LA. It is a great place and they have this "Pastor's Retreat" House that is free to those in full-time ministry. Last year I went during a time that I was in an emotional wasteland. So going this year was quite different. I spent a lot of time resting, knitting, reading and walking. It was just a great time to get away fom the demands of motherhood and just be by myself.

So here are some things I learned:

1. I love my kids. They are great kids and we have a blast as a family. Sure they are sinful and totally depraved, but I can see God redeeming them daily. And I just love them for where they are today. They make me laugh and they are such a treasure to be around.

2. I don't want to "miss out" on any time with them right now in pursuit of a second career for down the road.

3. I love being at home and making my home a haven.

4. Chronic fatigue SUCKS!

5. Life is difficult and we just have to trudge through it. Look for the joys along the way and take delight in them even amoung all the misery.

6. My husband is friggin' unbelievable! What a cool guy to bless me and give me this time away. (And he does so great with the kids while I'm gone too.)

7. On the one hand, my life is totally great. On the other hand, my life totally sucks. It's all a matter of perspective - and which aspect you choose to emphasize. Kinda the tension of the "now and not yet". I have the power of the Holy Spirit now working in me - but I'm still such a freaking messed up person in a fallen world. Maranatha!

8. I need to take more of these breaks periodically so i just keep myself from going crazy!

There's probably more...but the kids are freaking - I gotta run!