'H' is for Hannah

So the other day I was in Ethan's room putting his clothes in his dresser. He was under his bed playing. I looked up and noticed that someone had taken a crayon and written a big capital letter "H" on the wall next to Ethan's bed.

Within seconds I went through a whole course of reactions. My initial reation was disappointment that someone had written on the wall with crayon. I then was very excited realizing that Ethan did it and he wrote a pretty good capital H. I was proud of my boy for writing his letter! But then I thought, "Why 'H'?" Why not a big capital 'E' for Ethan? SO I asked him, "Ethan, what does 'H' stand for?" And sweet hearted little Ethan replies, "'H' is for Hannah...HannahBannana!"

It was SO CUTE I really couldn't be mad at him about the crayon...and i also thought it was so cute I left it there on the wall!

Oh my gosh! If this is what the preschool years are like what is adolescence gonna be like with three strapping men and a little princess? Wow! I think I like the idea of arranged marriage even more everyday!

Steve...Sarah...are you ready to draft up the papers? :)

Putting the Pieces Together

Well, a few weeks ago we invited a couple from our church into our home. Their lease ran out, they were hard pressed for cash and the didn't have a place to crash. They were building a home in Georgia, but couldn't more until the middle of December. What seems like a big imposition, has been nothing but a blessing for my family. Fran and Michael are a true gift. And I know this best of all by seeing it through the eyes of my little four-year-old boy, Ethan. To Ethan Fran and Michael are like Superman and Wonder Woman. They are his super heros. And better than that they are also 3rd service Sunday night teachers. From the first night he met them he fell in love with Fran and Michael...and then to find out they were coming to live with us...could heaven be any better?

Ethan has been estatic. He wakes up every morning and goes out to say good morning to F&M. After school he is so excited to see them. He plays cars with them, watches TV with them and even talks them into feeding him. For a 4-year-old a best buddy doesn't get any closer!

Well, tonight it happened. I was in Ethan's bedroom helping Sophie get her PJs on. Ethan came in from the garage where F&M are staying and he was balling. He said, "Mom, they are going to Georgia!"

(Now Ethan has known since day one that F&M were moving to Gerogia. But at that moment it "clicked" that Georgia was a bit farther away than our own back yard. He was devistated.)

The mother in me grabbed hold of him and held him on the bed. I wanted to tell him that everthing would be ok. But it really wouldn't. Fran & Michael were going to leave in 3 1/2 weeks. And as far as I know we have NO plans to visit Georgia any time soon. What was I to say? I couldn't lie to my boy.My heart just broke for his precious little heart. And I started crying with him.

After he settled down a bit we talked about how we could write letters, or send emails, packages and phone calls. In his little brain he knew it wouldn't be the same. I could just see the pain becoming more and more real. His little heart breaking just tore mine right in two.

So if you think of it, say a little prayer for my brave little boy. He just has the most tender and sincere heart. As a mom, this kills me.

You Can Call Me Al.

Yesterday I went to the YMCA. My usual routine is to bring a good book, get some sweet tunes flowing, and zone out on the eliptical machine for 35+ minutes. Well, yesterday was a bit different. I got to the Y at around 8:30am. I got my stuff put away in my locker and headed out headphones in place, book in hand.

The selection for the day was "A Testament of Devotion" by Thomas R. Kelly (on loan from Nathan.) I got up on the machine ready to zone out when through my headphone I hear, "Hi!"

I think, "Uh! People!...I just want to zone out, listen to praise songs, read a good book, and focus my heart on Jesus, all while burning a few calories!"

And then I hear, "What...are you ...reading?"

I stop. (but i keep jogging) Take out the headphone from one ear and turn to see the guy exercising right next to me. In my left ear I hear Matt Redman singing about falling facedown before the Lord in worship. In my right ear I hear Michael Jackson singing about how "It's not my baby." And I look over and see Al. Al is a young guy, probably around 20. I see him often enough at the Y. I knew who he was but we never talked other than a cordial "Hi" either before or after I got into my "meditative zone."

This day was different. When he asked about my book I thought, "Here we go." And so I told him I hadn't even begun it yet...but it was about God. I hoped that would scare him and throw him off. He kept jogging. Turned and said a hello to the person on the other side of him. I thought, "Yes! I'm free." I put in my head phone, turned my head and read the introduction. It was about finding God in the midst of the busyiness of life.

Not two minutes later, I notice Al looking at me. "Ok...ok God!" I thought. I take out both headphones this time and Al says, "God, huh? Wow!" The conversation began.

We had a beutiful interchange weaving in and out of God, the Bible, Church, and Hell with the Lakers, Ice Hockey, Star Wars and shopping. In the midst of the conversation I felt God tugging at my heart for Al and I prayed for the gift of discernment in that moment. Al is a bit mentally challenged. His speach is very slurred and it takes him a long time to say anything. He's a cute kid, but one of the "unlovelies" by the world's definition. But it was so beautiful to have a very basic and simple conversation about Yoda doing flips and tricks with the lightsaber (I told him my boys LOVED Star Wars!) to talking about the Lakers to talking about How Al believes in God and loves Jesus and doesn't want to go "down there" because "down there" is bad. I said my kids don't want to go "down there" either. And do you know what the worst part of going "down there" is? It's being without God forever. "I KNOW!" Says Al. I told him my kids are excited to go to heaven because there they can live forever with God! Al seemed excited too at the possibility.

As his exercise routine finished, he kept going another 12 minutes just so we could both finish at the same time. So sweet.

It was just so sweet talking to someone whom i haven't yet even given the time of day. But for those 35 minutes he became a sweet friend. Now, nothing major happened by anyone's standards. But putting down the headphones and the "book about God" freed me up in that moment to Worship God through my conversation with Al. Who knew the Lakers could lead you into to worship? But getting to know the heart of one of God's precious creations was priceless. On the one hand, there is nothing special about Al...but on the other hand Al is immeasurable to our God. And through taking the time to talk to him, God gave me more joy than I could have asked for. It was beautiful.

How many times do we miss the beauty of God's agenda because we are too caught up in our own?

The Way of the Heart

SO this week I've been rereading some of Henri Nouwen's books that I was first introduced to in college. Man...he packs the most powerful of punches in the smallest of books. I read In the Name of Jesus and today it was The Way of the Heart.

Here's a few quotes:

"Compassion can never coexist with judgement because judgement creates the distance, the distinction, which prevents us from really being with the other." (Nouwen)

"The crisis of our prayer life is that our minds may be filled with the ideas of GOd while our hearts remain far from him. Real prayer comes from the heart." (Nouwen)

"To Pray is to descend with the mind into the heart, and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever-present, all-seeing within you." (Theophan the Recluse)

"When we have found our rest in God we can do nothing other than minister." (Nouwen)

Hmmmm...my prayer life sucks. Learning the discipline of praying without ceasing is invaluable. This book helps lead the way. I think I'll be quite now.