Ouch...the truth hurts!
Ok I've been readng this book by Paul Tripp called "Instruments int he Redeemer's Hands: People in Need of Change, Helping People in Need of Change" and there is just too much to blog about! This is an AWSOME book and I HIGHLY recomend it!
Well, today was one of those days I was reading while working out at the YMCA. (It's why I love the 'Y' I can read, work out and have "alone" time - all while the kids are in Child Watch!) I tell you what I got my butt kicked clear across the room when I read this illustration.
Tripp was talking about a seminary counseling class he used to teach that was a requirement for those on the Pastor track. He used to start each class telling horror stories of crisis in ministry. Finally after a whole lot of stories one student blurted out, "All right, we know we are going to have these projects in our churches. Just tell us what to do with them so we can get back to the work of the ministry!" Ouch! I'm thinking, "What a MORON!" Trip went on to write how that comment was honest but exposed that soon-to-be pastor's true heart was lacking LOVE.
Tripp then went on to expose his own heart in the situation which just totally slapped me in the face today as I read it:
In class that afternoon, I wondered how that student could've gotten it so wrong. But as I drove home that night, the closer I got, the more uptight I became. I was thinking, Wouldn't it be nice to come home just once to a house that wasn't full of problems I needed to solve? As I voiced that frustration to myself, it hit me. I was just like my student! I wanted children who had never suffered the effects of the Fall and who possesed the innate ability to make all the right choices. I wanted family devotions and a few lectures to produce children who would do quite well on their own. I, too, lacked the self-sacraficing love essential in a family full of sinners. Like my student, I saw my children as being in the way of the plan, rather than the focus of it. (p. 116-117)
Crap! A Family full of sinners! That is what we are. But am I dying to myself daily to show Jesus to my kids? Am I giving up my nap time and pushing through so I can spend precious time with my boys while they are home?
It is so darn hard. My patience wears thin! Especially at the grocery store. It was a CONSTANT battle today to make it through Costco with only using kind words. I did it...but I suffer public humiliation as Sophie is SCREAMING her head off over something and Carter and Taylor are running away from the cart and then Ethan got his foot run over by the cart.
I don't know how to Shepherd my children's hearts and still maintain a semi-clean house and get dinner on the table. We are in a total funk. I am swamped. I can't do it. I live in a shit-hole and it's all I can do to just defuse arguments, train and instuct ALL DAY LONG! And you wonder why I have Chronic Fatigue? I need a maid and a food delivery service! It is hard to honor God with consistent parenting when you are poor and have to live in a constant state of disaster. That TOTALLY drives me crazy! I love a clean house. But yesterday I spent 2 1/2 hours cleaning the kids bedroom and while I was doing that Ethan & Sophie were off destroying three other areas of the house! It never stops. There is ALWAYS one more dirty dish, one more load of laundry, one more butt to wipe...how do I honour God and not loose my sanity in the process?
...Chicken Nuggets again tonight kids?
Well, today was one of those days I was reading while working out at the YMCA. (It's why I love the 'Y' I can read, work out and have "alone" time - all while the kids are in Child Watch!) I tell you what I got my butt kicked clear across the room when I read this illustration.
Tripp was talking about a seminary counseling class he used to teach that was a requirement for those on the Pastor track. He used to start each class telling horror stories of crisis in ministry. Finally after a whole lot of stories one student blurted out, "All right, we know we are going to have these projects in our churches. Just tell us what to do with them so we can get back to the work of the ministry!" Ouch! I'm thinking, "What a MORON!" Trip went on to write how that comment was honest but exposed that soon-to-be pastor's true heart was lacking LOVE.
Tripp then went on to expose his own heart in the situation which just totally slapped me in the face today as I read it:
In class that afternoon, I wondered how that student could've gotten it so wrong. But as I drove home that night, the closer I got, the more uptight I became. I was thinking, Wouldn't it be nice to come home just once to a house that wasn't full of problems I needed to solve? As I voiced that frustration to myself, it hit me. I was just like my student! I wanted children who had never suffered the effects of the Fall and who possesed the innate ability to make all the right choices. I wanted family devotions and a few lectures to produce children who would do quite well on their own. I, too, lacked the self-sacraficing love essential in a family full of sinners. Like my student, I saw my children as being in the way of the plan, rather than the focus of it. (p. 116-117)
Crap! A Family full of sinners! That is what we are. But am I dying to myself daily to show Jesus to my kids? Am I giving up my nap time and pushing through so I can spend precious time with my boys while they are home?
It is so darn hard. My patience wears thin! Especially at the grocery store. It was a CONSTANT battle today to make it through Costco with only using kind words. I did it...but I suffer public humiliation as Sophie is SCREAMING her head off over something and Carter and Taylor are running away from the cart and then Ethan got his foot run over by the cart.
I don't know how to Shepherd my children's hearts and still maintain a semi-clean house and get dinner on the table. We are in a total funk. I am swamped. I can't do it. I live in a shit-hole and it's all I can do to just defuse arguments, train and instuct ALL DAY LONG! And you wonder why I have Chronic Fatigue? I need a maid and a food delivery service! It is hard to honor God with consistent parenting when you are poor and have to live in a constant state of disaster. That TOTALLY drives me crazy! I love a clean house. But yesterday I spent 2 1/2 hours cleaning the kids bedroom and while I was doing that Ethan & Sophie were off destroying three other areas of the house! It never stops. There is ALWAYS one more dirty dish, one more load of laundry, one more butt to wipe...how do I honour God and not loose my sanity in the process?
...Chicken Nuggets again tonight kids?
posted by Kyrie Eleison at 2:38 PM
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